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If You Want To Learn To Write A Poem…

March 24, 2009

you to go the Iowa Writers Workshop.


if you want to party down and get fucked, you go to the School of the Art Institute of Chicago.  their MFA in Writing Program is on the rise.


the new MFA rankings are out– and Iowa, your game is  slippin’, son.  the vise-like grip the iww has had on MFA rankings for the past…forever…has finally begun to loosen and fray.  the newly developed GradInsider features rankings assigned by program graduates, so you get the inside track on shit that matters like restaurants and clubs, not publication lists and fellowships.  in which case the iww is F-U-C-K-E-D.

not only does the historic death star come at #5 in terms of reputation, it turns out that iowa city is no place to be gettin a piece of ass.  furthermore you will not find quality faculty, adequate campus facilities, or a good social scene at the iww.

it should be noted, however, that art schools are not–traditionally speaking–bastions of connectivity and opportunity.  mostly you spend your time worrying that next week’s critique session will involve someone’s vagina poetry and assorted chocolate molds of said vagina.   and writers come in second only to visual artists in terms of poor financial management skills so you’ll be partying but broke.  still… nailing some hot hipster performance major is well worth the time you might have spent making friends with the next matthea harvey.

hey man, two paths diverged in a yellow wood…


3 Comments leave one →
  1. iheartralphnad permalink
    March 24, 2009 5:57 pm

    I’m not really sure how the dating ranking could possibly be calculated fairly. of course an MFA in chicago would win out—it’s a city! there are over 100 people in IWW–that’s a lot better chances than programs like Irvine or Umass who only accept 4-6 people. considering the location, that’s pretty damn good. but coming from someone who attends iowa i guess it doesnt say much that i would defend it.

  2. famouspoet permalink
    March 24, 2009 6:23 pm

    i have dated people in iowa city; no matter how many people live there, it’s a losing game. don’t be mad.

  3. March 26, 2009 1:42 am

    i applied to saic as an undergrad, to their new writing program.

    i was going as a transfer, a hopeful, all my portfolio feedback was open-jawed, so i felt good until I bugged them too much about getting back to me about whether i got in. so the day after i called they said, we want a semester of better grades from you.

    I understood. My grades sorta sucked. 2.5? I shoulda got straight A’s. I used to be lazy. Keyword…. used.

    but you forgot learning. you can learn while partying and getting fucked. and possibly learning either 1) how to fuck or 2) how to go about getting fucked.

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