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Dana Gioia Resigns Amid Scandal!

September 18, 2008
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OK not really.  but we were so pumped to hear that Dana Gioia is leaving his post at the NEA we thought the only reply was a scathingly effeminite SCAN-DAL! this is totally big shit in our world, dudes.  the personal “our” as in you all and us together.  o u r.

it’s time to fess up: we don’t have a specific beef with Gioia, we just like to pick on him.  look at him!  he’s the ralph wiggum of the arts!

we’re not sure if this is a preternatural response to ickiness or if it’s just that whenever we read about Dana Gioia, someone gives us the impression that he is a massive tool.  an impression easily gleaned from this 2004 NYTSBR entry on Goia’s “Disappearing Ink: Poetry at the End of Print Culture”.  i think, perhaps, the best thing about Scott’s commentary on Gioia is that he compares Gioia’s prose to “inert gas.”  is that maybe like saying Gioia’s prose smells like farts?  we vote: YES.

we are well aware that Gioia has his good points, his champions, his book contracts (!), his suave bipartisan ways.  but we can’t help but be equally fascinated and repulsed by the choices of the grande dame of arts funding in the U.S.  especially when one considers what’s at stake in Grand Gioia’s choices.  and so, you see, there’s something in us that cannot resist dissing the major dramz that is the Dana. to wit:

“If I don’t return to poetry soon, the Muse will never have me back.”

we won’t.  it’s too easy.  but you see what we mean, right?  he just sounds–however unintentionally–ludicrous.  i mean, cause, we were not, like aware, Dana, that we’d actually arrived at the end of print culture.  cause i just read some crappy old issue of jubilat the other day and loved it.  and my friend spent $100 at UCAL books.  are you calling us fools, Dana?!  retroactively accusing us of naiveté?!

i guess we deserved it.

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