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Do Literary Devices Have A Real World Use Value?

July 24, 2008

This week’s token “insider” in Life and Style‘s “Is Lindsay Lohan Gay?” story must have just gotten back from a super sexy writing retreat at The Summer Literary Seminars or Squaw Valley. Said insider’s all up in the metaphors and symbols, telling the magazine what analyzing Lilo and Samantha Ronson’s newest jewelery might tell us about their status as a couple:

The matching infinity lock bracelets by Jules Smith?

“The bracelets represent their relationship — they have each other on lockdown, and there’s no one else who can open up the key to their hearts.

The matching anchor necklaces?

“… symbolize that they are each other’s anchor.”

!!!!!!!!!

Wow…..ok……..well, as famous, successful and satisfied poets, we feel compelled to advice this particular LiLo “insider” to skip the writing retreats and conferences next year summer in favor of watching Rick Mahorn highlight reels and planning a classy limerick themed wedding for $10,000 and making it look like $40,000. That’ll teach her some metaphors.

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