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Unnanounced Contest! Surprise Winners! Ethics Likely To Be Investigated!

April 19, 2008

we like to be frequent and anonymous benefactors; we think it makes us more adept at volleying criticisms of the relationship between production and reward in art. so y’know, to honor the reward portion we at vowel movers generate random unannounced contests, to which we will submit your candidacy whether you like it or not.

today’s contest: you still got it, tyger: hot poets throughout the ages

let’s not kid ourselves, lord byron was one fine looking man. mcsteamy, meet mcsonnet:


and there’s no doubt that james merrill cornered the market on upper-class fine:


but there may be no finer than these two boys:


and look, we’re not saying that women poets are ugly. we’re saying that women poets born before 1945 were rather unfortunate looking. case in point:


marilyn hacker, b. 1942 vs. marie howe b. 1950




george eliot b. 1819 vs. dana goodyear b. 1976


of course, no examination of author photos would be complete without the inclusion of jorie graham, for the author photo was made for her and her alone. to quote carly simon, “nobody does it better, makes me feel sad for the rest”

grahamearly grahamlate graham

and while we can’t say we’re really fans of the new series of her author photos (which seem to be taken with a laptop camera embedded in the screen), you can see she’s still got it:

newgraham new

maybe it’s modern portrait photography or the modern gaze itself, but by golly the author photo was made for the attention to image that can only come from post-world-war american poets. and today, my darlings, we answer in unison that question which nags at you always, “am i pretty?” emphatically, “sort of…for a writer you’re kinda hot, actually”

got a fix? go here

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